What's Your Name, Sugar?

I saw one of my doctors today who I've regularly seen for about seven years. This was the first time I'd seen her since the accident. I'd been quite curious on her opinion since, say, I've only been seeing my primary care physician and other doctors for about four months prior and their take on a "personality shift" has limited data.

Plus, this particular physician is blunt. This is not always appreciated, especially the times her first statement to me is: "You look like shit." But she calls it like she sees it.

We'll skip over the not-so-fun discussion before she suddenly said, "Your people skills are terrible." 

This brought a genuine laugh from me because, well, you can't very well tell a person their people skills are terrible without the irony.

So, my people skills are terrible, she says, and I have to agree with her. I tell her that I have genuinely forgotten how to make small talk. I've totally forgotten how to behave in polite society, not to mention that the idea of talking to people, while once my job, now makes me break into a sweat.

The following conversation could not have been more apropos. 

"How do I...talk to people?" I asked, hesitatingly.

"Well," she answered with more patience than I'd ever experienced from her, "you just do. You have coffee with friends. You talk to your neighbors. You strike up a conversation with the store clerk." 

"What do I say to the store clerk?"

"You just talk. She'll say, 'Did you find everything today?' You'll say, 'You know, actually, I couldn't find the sugar.' She'll say, 'Oh, I'm sorry, we just moved it to aisle 12.' You know how stores are always moving things."

"So I lie?" 

"Lie about what?" 

"I should always tell the clerk I couldn't find the sugar? Do I use the sugar line in other situations?"

There was a pause as my normally impatient doctor borrowed some patience from the long-suffering Job.

"Just practice," she said.